Dear Lovey Dovey
by Normal
Summary: Naruto, the university's love advice columnist, never predicted that one particular advice would earn him a few passionate love letters and an admirer or two of the male kind. [AU, Eventual SasuNaru and other various pairings]
1. Green Blood

**Title**: Dear Lovey Dovey  
**By**: Kimika  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto. I don't know whatever possessed me to think otherwise. Must have been those magical bananas…  
**Warnings**: This is an AU. Will contain BoyxBoy love. Most importantly, beware of the insanity. Oh, and watch out for the paperclips people. They're evil.  
**A/N**: This chapter has been edited and revised! Instead of it being written in Naruto's POV it is now on third person POV, Naruto centered for a few chapters. I know that this idea is very overdone but the plot bunnies wouldn't leave me alone. I had to write it. Sorry in advance for any grammar mistakes, OOCness, stupid comments, mistakes about the university (seeing as I've never been to one) and my pathetic lack of vocabulary…May the God of potatoes be with you all, live long and prosper, and so on and so forth. Enjoy reading.

**_Chapter 1 – Green Blood_**

_I think I love someone. That person hates me. What do I need to do?_

_Signed,  
Blue_

Naruto blinked several times and read the printed statement again before he put it aside on the last patch of visible wood that was supposedly his desk. It could hardly be called a desk anymore, seeing as now it was only a mountain of white paper sheets, articles, old _Konoha's Weekly_ issues and the latest volume of _Hidden Leaf_, the university's biannual literary fiction, which Naruto borrowed from Sakura.

Still having Blue's letter in his mind, he moved on to the next letter and almost sighed in gratitude when he saw that it contained more than 15 words. He could handle the long, detailed problems a lot better than he could with the short, answer-me-now sort of problems. The more information he got the better his answer was.

_Dear Lovey-dovey,_

_I have a problem and no one left to consult! _

_I recently started dating a guy who has been head-over-heels about me since we were 12 years old. Problem is he's been so dead-set and fixated on me that he hasn't dated another girl before. Ever. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than flattered for his relentless attention (if not a bit scared), however, it did cause a few uncomfortable situations…_

_First of all, he has no idea how to act around me. He showers me with love, and that includes flowers, teddy bears, hugs, little post-it notes proclaiming his feelings and so on. He doesn't realize that I can't handle it! I understand that he loves me but it's all too much._

_Secondly, the kissing issue. He's incredibly inexperienced and slobbers all over my face (bleargh). I can't help but feel a little disgusted when he kisses me. _

_We get along fine and I like him very much. I just don't know how to deal with the physical stuff. I'm not overly attracted to him and if he at least was a good kisser I would've handled this better, but…_

_I'm desperate. Should I just give him more time to gain experience or end it before I hurt him?_

_Love,  
Lady in Doubt_

Naruto knew who "Lady in Doubt" was and it wasn't that hard to figure out. _It seems that the new couple has a few love issues! _He snickered to himself. Nevertheless he wondered why she didn't come to him personally. Why did she want it posted in his column? Perhaps she wanted her boyfriend to read it? Naruto doubted that he reads the love advice column though. Not to mention that the guy's pretty dense, he might not even realize that it's about him.

He was already establishing an idea for a suitable response. Oh, but before he sends it in he's going to tease "Lady in Doubt" so much! He mentally rubbed the palms of his hands together in glee.

He was about to fish for another letter from his highly regarded in-need-of-advice pile when he heard the soft pitter-patter of footsteps nearing his personal space.

"Naruto."

He looked up and smiled widely. "Hey, hey, Neji!"

The pale boy looked back at him sternly and said, "What are you doing here? The editor forbids us from using the newspaper's staff room before 8am."

"I know the stupid rules, but I can't help it! I'm behind on my deadline and I have to get at least two more advices in by," Naruto glanced at his watch for good measure, "4pm today."

Neji just stood there, looking at the blond's disorganized desk and Naruto then spotted the white folder tucked under his arm. That folder which contained heaps over heaps of information about movies, novels, performances, and what not, given that Neji was the critic for _Konoha's Weekly. _

Naruto and he weren't on friendly terms when they just met. Both boys wanted in on the newspaper staff but there was only room for one person for criticism column. Neji wanted that slot in the staff and so did Naruto, seeing as they were both participating in the Journalism Program and a spot in the University's newspaper's staff would give them much wanted credit.

They fought long and hard for that position. After giving their separate criticism over the same drama performance in freshman year, the staff decided that while Neji's entry was more informative (and dry), Naruto's had a lot more flare. For a while it seemed that Naruto was going to win the open slot and Neji admitted defeat. He stopped with the venomous glares directed at the blond and turned a bit friendlier.

Eventually, the staff wanted both of them, which made Naruto happy because Neji was beginning to be somewhat of a friend and he didn't want Neji upset over losing his sought after position in the staff to him.

Yamanaka Ino, who was originally liable for _Ask Lovey-dovey_, the university's infamous love advice column, left her position. Sakura and she joined forces in writing the gossip column and _voila!_ Another slot opened and apparently the staff decided that writing the love advice column was perfect for Naruto.

He, of course, complained and moped around at first (because, seriously, what guy wants to be addressed as Lovey-dovey?) but then realized that it was either this or nothing. Plus, no one knew the columnist's true identity (for fear of the poor soul being murdered) except for the staff so it was a major bonus for him, a guy not really liked by some.

Naruto shifted his gaze and noticed Neji's intent stare on him. Pearly pupils bore through him as if he was seeing something beyond his solid body. Naruto cleared his throat, "Uh, Neji? You okay?"

White eyes came into focus. "Yes," he said and then hesitated for a moment before speaking again. "I'm putting this away," he lifted his arm a little to show Naruto the white folder, "and then we're leaving for class." As he was speaking he walked over to his spotless desk (it was so clean you could run your tongue over it) and carefully placed his folder inside a drawer, locking it after he did. Naruto sometimes found himself wondering if that folder contained the boy's dirty little secrets that he treated it with such inflated care.

The long-haired teen walked briskly to the door and then stood at the doorway, folding his arms across his chest, looking like a parent who's waiting for their child who did something wrong to follow them.

Naruto pouted and his lower lip quivered in his ultimate kicked-puppy look, while still maintaining his location in his chair. "B-but Mommy…I don't wanna go to school today! I wanna stay home and bake yummy cakes with _yooouuuu_!"

"_Naruto_…" Neji said threateningly, using the tone which clearly said 'do this, or else…'

The blue-eyed boy quickly hopped out of his seat and ran ahead of Neji, laughing cheerfully while at it.

* * *

"On a further note, the new subject we will be discussing for the upcoming month shall be the economics and the colonialism in Southeast Asia and how the colonial rule has affected the economic structure that lead --"

_Blah, blah, blah. Sooooo boring. My heart isn't strong enough to handle this vast amount of boredom!_ Naruto thought, bored to tears.

He propped his head up with his hand and stared lazily at his History teacher. He could see his lips moving but no coherent words registered in his mind. Blue eyes shifted back and forth across the classroom as an act of desperation for something that would keep their owner from falling asleep, taking notice of rays of sunshine from the windows which poured into the room, until they stopped on the black splotch seated in front of him.

Uchiha Sasuke. That _bastard_.

_He_ _just had to sit at the table in front of mine, didn't he?_ Naruto fumed inwardly. He couldn't enjoy a single class without the Uchiha being there. He was after him, Naruto was sure of it! He wanted to make his life miserable. They've known each other since kindergarten and been stuck together ever since, sharing the same experiences. Same group of friends, same school, same classes, same _interests_…

And to think that they were once best friends. He was best friends with that evil snob! They were also rivals in a way, seeing as they were both competitive like hell. Naruto continuously hated to admit it but Sasuke was better… At. Every. Single. Thing. He had the looks, he had the money, and he was a better athlete, a brighter student and had the personality that made the girls swoon at his feet with that mysterious air about him.

When Naruto was with him he became invisible. Everyone just saw the prodigy, the shining star of the school, the perfect Uchiha boy. He became air that trailed after the popular boy, a shadow. People sneered and scrunched up their noses at the sight of him as if he was some vile disease-ridden pest; if they didn't out right ignored him. After all, there's always a loser behind the winner and Naruto was definitely a loser when compared to Sasuke.

He never minded back then because he liked Sasuke. Naruto didn't care what people thought of him because he had his best friend and they could all go to hell for all he cared.

He was such an idiot. Good thing he saw through the Uchiha genius when high school ended. Their friendship crashed to the rocks and Naruto detached himself from the uncaring boy. He signed up to a university far from their hometown with Sakura and Hinata. He made new friends. He was hoping to never see that asshole's betraying _backstabbing_ face ever again. But _nooooo_…

On his first day as a freshman in the university, Naruto waltzed into the classroom only to discover that Uchiha was sitting there with his fingers interlaced under his chin with that all-too-familiar smirk plastered firmly on his lips as he gave Naruto that look that made the blond picture a mini-Sasuke-devil telling him, "You can run but you can't hide," (insert manic laughter here).

Sasuke followed him here. That's right. He was out to get Naruto. He was doing it on purpose. Naruto knew a conspiracy when he made up one! The bastard _intentionally_ signed up to the same department as he did, the Faculty of Humanities, which meant that they shared the same classes. Again. The only things they didn't share were the special courses, because whilst Naruto joined the Journalism Program, Sasuke joined the Literature Creative Writing Program and is a member of the air-heads who write _Hidden Leaf_.

After mumbling to himself that he can't stand Sasuke, he started doodling in his notebook. About three seconds later, a few drops of green ink escaped from the tip of his pen onto the paper, creating a large green blotch.

"Ahhhhh, NO! My pen is broken! It's bleeding!" Naruto accidentally exclaimed loudly.

"Uzumaki, we are all very sorry for your terrible loss. Now do us a favor and keep your mouth shut," the professor locked his hard eyes with Naruto's briefly before turning back to his lecture. The blond caught a few of his classmates' mocking eyes as they snapped their attention to him and he resisted the urge to sigh. Even here some people hated him.

"Moron," Naruto heard Sasuke's snorting derisively under his breath and black eyes caught Naruto's cerulean ones before he abruptly turned back to jotting notes.

The blue-eyed boy glared at Sasuke's back, wondering briefly why the brunette hasn't erupted into flames yet and threw himself out of the window. Not that he actually _would_, but the blond could hope, right?

In his exasperated state, Naruto reached for another pen and wrote down under the green stain:

_Here, take some green blood._

He then ripped the note from his notebook and squished and crushed it in a tanned fist. He grinned idiotically and aimed.

The crumpled piece of paper hit Sasuke's shoulder and rolled onto the surface of the light-wood table. Naruto could see a bit of the black-haired boy's perfectly sculptured face as he turned to eye the small paper ball inquisitively. He looked a bit like a cat staring at a rolling dust bunny before jumping and grabbing it.

Naruto could see the brunette's shoulder blade move as he wrote something down on the note and felt a whiff of delight at not being ignored. He quickly scolded himself for being an attention whore. In a matter of seconds the paper ball returned to his table.

_I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works._

Fuming, the blond seized the 'bloodied' ball and squeezed it further between his hands to make it more solid. His target now was not as wide ranged as his last one. He was going to have to be real accurate…

_Twack._

_Ha ha! Bull's eye! Straight to the back of the head of Mr. Bitch-without-a-cause-Uchiha Sasuke! _Naruto silently bounced joyfully in triumph.

The brunette didn't move and his posture was tense, as if he had frozen in his place.

It took Naruto a moment to take notice of the silence that engulfed the room. Every head in the classroom was facing him, some infuriated (Sasuke's fans) and some humored (Neji). The professor's heated glare proved that he was definitely not amused. The only one not facing the culprit was his ex-best friend who was now unfrozen and back to normal, writing something in his notebook and disregarding the outer world which was taking its sweet time in staring at Naruto.

Naruto's arm was automatically raised to the back of his head and he rubbed the blond hair at his nape sheepishly while muttering a weak "Heh."

Needless to say, he spent the rest of the class outside, in the hall, smacking himself mentally for forgetting his backpack inside the classroom, with his key to the newspaper's staff room, his refuge in times such as these, in it.

* * *

"Sleeping while standing. Idiot."

…

"Oi, wake up, moron."

Ocean blue eyes groggily opened to meet smooth black shoes. The blue eyes rose to greet the owner of the shoes, which was recognized halfway when Naruto saw the annoyingly well-known dark blue shirt. The blond felt his mood sour instantly. "Whaddya want?" Naruto asked the slender figure before him drowsily and not with as much hostility as he was going for.

Sasuke sighed peevishly and pushed something against the shorter boy's chest.

"…My backpack? Why did you…?" Naruto asked him incredulously.

The raven-haired boy shrugged his shoulders and looked away, following the students passing in the hall as if they were much more intriguing and worthwhile his time.

"Well thanks, but I didn't need your help," The blond said adamantly.

"Whatever."

Naruto fastened the straps of his backpack on his shoulders and muttered irately, "Bastard."

"Dobe."

"Don't call me that!"

Sasuke's lips curled delicately upwards in a taunting smirk. "What if I feel like it?"

"What if I feel like shoving my foot so far up your ass that my toes tickle the back of your throat!" The short boy seethed.

"What if I break your legs before either one reaches its destination?" The smirk was on full force now.

"Why you cocky, conceited asshole!"

He snorted. "That's all you got? You can do better than that, brain-dead."

"Monkey ass-kisser!"

"Oh help, I'm devastated by your petty barbs." (Note the sarcasm). "Dumbass,"

"Jerk!"

"Stupid dead-last,"

_"Traitor,"_ Naruto spat out bitterly.

Onyx eyes widened slightly before they narrowed into slits. "You…You must be the dumbest --"

"You're behaving like children, knock it off." Neji's icy voice rang between the two disputing teens. Neither even noticed him approaching. How long has he been standing there?

Pallid lavender-hued irises were hooked on Naruto. The blue-eyed boy glowered at Sasuke and pointed an incriminating finger at the boy. "He started it."

Naruto could feel the temperature in the hallway drop about a hundred degrees the moment Neji's and Sasuke's glares locked. He wanted to back away slowly from all the waves of hatred that were emitted and seeping rapidly from the two. Even since the two brunettes laid eyes on each other in freshman year sparks flew. Not the good sparks too. More of an I'm-going-to-slaughter-you-in-your-sleep-and-shove-you-in-a-plastic-bag kind of sparks.

"Uchiha," the long-haired, white-eyed boy growled.

"Hyuuga," the raven-haired snarled as a response.

The two then turned simultaneously in opposite directions of the hallway and walked away, leaving behind a bewildered blond.

As he stood there with his back pressed to the wall a thought occurred to him.

How in the name of holy Ramen did he manage to sleep while _standing_?

* * *

_Dear Blue,_

_Know this: Sometimes you can't control love and when it appears. With hatred it's different. Hate is acquired. You should ask yourself what makes that person hate you. If you feel strongly enough for said person, you should try and change traits that are problematic or apologize for whatever it was that brought up the hate. _

_It might be hard to come to a person who hates your guts with roses in one hand and say, "Listen, I'm sorry for everything. I love you, let's run off into the sunset together?" You'll be lucky if you'll survive in one piece and with all of your vital organs. _

_Here's my advice: Try approaching that person. Look apologetic, don't do anything that they don't like and be nice overall. If that doesn't work (or if you already know that there's no chance of it working), write letters. Personally, I can express myself better through writing. I can tell that you don't, though. Seriously, you wrote 15 words asking for advice. 15! The posters in my room say more than that! _

_Anyway, try it. Be persistent. Even if they discard your letters or if they try to punch you down when you get too near. Remember that there's a thin line between hate and love. With a lot of devotion and willingness, you might convert them to the lovelier side and you two will live happily ever after and have 20 blue babies._

_Good luck,  
Lovey-dovey_

After printing his advice, Naruto clipped it to the other advices that went into that week's column and placed the folder on his editor's table. He then sped to his next class which already started as if the paperclip people were hot on his heels. Which they weren't. Obviously.

* * *

Naruto didn't know at the time that from that moment on his life was going to take a major turn. He didn't know that this letter, this one small letter asking for advice, is going to affect his future.

One small, _life-altering_ letter.

Life truly is a roller coaster. The boy only wished that someone would've told him to buckle his seatbelt sooner though, because it was going to be one hell of a ride for him.

**TBC**

* * *

_Author Notes_ - Longest thing I've ever written I think. I have a question: Would you actually like reading the letters that are addressed to the love advice column and the advices that Naruto gives them? If not then I'll try to make as less as possible although there _will_ be a few because I plan on Naruto being responsible in one way or another to some of the relationships in the story.

Hope you enjoyed, please press the 'Submit Review' button to feed a hungry author!


	2. Blue Without You

**Disclaimer: **Still don't own Naruto, no matter what the voices in my head tell me.  
**A/N: **Didn't come out as a funny chapter. Sorry. More notes at the end. (I'm not really happy. Can you tell? Stupid war…) Please enjoy reading.

_**Chapter 2 – Blue Without You**_

"_Sakura-chaaaan!"_

Said pink haired head whipped around to send the blond a nasty glare. "Naruto, _must _you whine my name like that?"

Naruto pouted. "What a way to greet your best friend, sheesh."

A smirk etched itself on Sakura's thin lips. "Since when are we best friends exactly, hmm? I wasn't aware that we were anything of the sort," she teased and placed her hands on her hips.

"Sakuuura! You're so mean!" Naruto said in mock-hurt although it was true that they weren't exactly best friends. Ino and Sakura were somewhat best friends now that after joining forces in looking for hot gossip, the rivalry between them dissipated.

Grinned brightly, the tanned boy asked, "So did you read it? Did ya? Did ya?"

The pink-haired girl looked confused. "What are you talking about, Naruto?" She turned slightly to give Ino, who was sitting down by her desk, a questioning look.

"What are you looking at me for? How would I know what's going on in that empty space he calls a brain?" The blonde girl interjected indignantly before burying her head again in the fresh _Konoha's Weekly_ issue that came out yesterday.

Naruto puffed out his cheeks. "And I call you people my friends! Unbelievable!" He threw his arms in the air in dismay.

Two pairs of eyes, one deep blue and the other a majestic light green, stared back blankly at him.

Naruto rolled his eyes and snatched the newspaper out of Ino's hands, ignoring the cries of "Hey! That was mine!" and opened it to the page dedicated to the love advice column. He handed it to Sakura and pointed with his index finger at it. "Read this," he said and walked behind her so he could look too. He rested his chin on her shoulder and relished in the fact that he could do so now without her hurting essential areas along his body. She developed a soft spot for the blond after he got over his crush for her.

Naruto jabbed Sakura in the ribs, urging her to read. She cleared her throat. "Dear Lady in Doubt," she gave the blue-eyed boy a meaningful lopsided stare and carried on. Naruto averted his eyes and read the printed black words contrasting against the ashen paper.

_Dear Lady in Doubt,_

_Post-it notes? He gives you little post-it notes? Okaaay. Some girls would find that awfully romantic, you know. Not to worry though, that part is actually the easier one to fix. All you got to do is...tell him! Just tell him that you appreciate each and every act of love and cherish it but you think that it's a teeny weenie bit too much. Tell him that it's enough if he just says those three words to you; he doesn't need to prove it. Having him say 'I love you' will be, in the end, more real than anything he'll ever give you. _

_Physical issue. Yikes. This one will be a bit trickier because you haven't told him about it when you discovered that he can't kiss and just let him do it. If you tell him now he might suspect that there might be other things that are wrong with him and start thinking, "What if I can't please her?" _

_You should approach him when he's relaxed and happy. Perhaps after a good date, alright? Tell him that you want him to close his eyes and let you try something new. Kiss him the way you want it done and by that you might be able to teach him something new or two. When you draw back, make sure you praise him and say something nice (a little flirtatious wink and a charming smile wouldn't hurt too). Then ask him to try. _

_Help him gain experience. Be patient and tentatively teach him how to kiss without him realizing that you're trying to change his kissing-ways. _

_If that doesn't work just remember that it's better to have a lousy kisser and a beautiful relationship than an amazing kisser and a miserable relationship. _

_Good luck,  
__Lovey-dovey_

When Sakura finished reading she folded the newspaper and handed it back to Ino. Her shoulder-length hair shielded the side of her face, preventing Naruto from seeing her expression from his current position with his head weighting on her shoulder. She let out a short, breathy laugh. "I don't know how you do it, Naruto. It's like you're a different person when you write these things…" Naruto didn't need to see her features to tell that she was smiling now, "Thank you."

The boy grinned mischievously and tilted his head so that his lips were at her ear. He whispered sultrily, making sure that his breath tickled the sensitive skin right below her earlobe, "If it doesn't work out in the end, you can always come to me. I bet I'm a better kisser…"

Faster than he could say "_Don't Be Hatin'_" he was pushed back and smacked two times on the head.

"OW!" The blond yelped loudly and gingerly rubbed the sore spots on his head which were rapidly growing bumps.

"What makes you think that you'd be a better kisser if you've only _been_ kissed twice in your life?" She asked crossly.

"I, uh, have a feeling. Plus, I practice with ice-cream all the time."

"..._Well_, that's pretty flimsy evidence. What else?" She demanded, a perceptive glint shimmering in her jade eyes.

_Well, damn, _Naruto thought. Of course Sakura didn't know that Naruto has actually kissed and been kissed more than twice. Before they started the university Naruto went out of the country with his current guardian Jiraiya and has gotten a bit of action after persuasion from the super-perverted, white-haired man.

It wasn't anything serious since Naruto was so heartbroken at the time after the 'prom incident', as he called it. At least he wasn't a virgin. Not that Sakura knew that either. He never really had the heart to tell her because she was still under the impression that he was wholly innocent.

He was glad that he was such a good actor. "I also…resheboueet," he murmured silently and avoided her look deliberately.

The sea-green eyed girl smirked slyly. "What was that? I didn't hear you."

Naruto feigned annoyance and grinded his teeth together. "I said…I also researched about it."

Sakura shook her head but smiled softly, looking like a mother who was about to teach her son an important lesson. "You can't know what it's really like until you try it. You've researched about love and romance so much that, yes, maybe theoretically you are somewhat of an expert. Although I still don't think so. I don't see how you can be an expert on love and kisses if you've never experienced it before. The real thing is a lot harder and much different," she sighed. "Do you understand?"

Naruto nodded meekly. Forcing on his signature idiotic grin and folding his hands behind his head, he said, "Thanks, Sakura. I think I'll go to the gym now before my other classes start. Some of the guys should be there too."

She had that heartrending look on her face. Was it pity?_ Ha!_ "Alright. Have fun."

Ino chirped in a "Bye, Naruto," and got back to her reading.

Naruto hastily walked out of the paper's staff room and let his legs carry him to the gym right outside the campus while letting his mind reflect on what his pink-haired friend said.

She was right nonetheless. He never did experience love. Despite the fact that he was already 19-years-old, he's never been in a real, meaningful long-term relationship (longer than those 'meaningful' overnight relationships with girls from abroad that put out). He partially blamed himself because he's been pinning over Sakura until their last day in high school's senior year.

What infuriated him even more was that every time he tried to start a conversation with random girls in campus that sent him wandering, appreciative looks (at least some people appreciated his sexy body!), his plans were always demolished by that damn Uchiha. That jackass just popped out of thin air as if he has some sort of radar that goes off in his head, _'Time to embarrass Naruto'. _Sasuke never missed an opportunity to publicly humiliate Naruto in front of girls, or anyone else for the matter.

Before he knew it Naruto was in the gym's locker room and at his locker, as if all this time he was on auto-pilot, picking up an orange towel, a pair of silver-colored headphones and an empty bottle to fill up with water.

After adjusting his towel snugly on his honey-skinned shoulders and behind his neck, he went out to the gym room and quickly ran into a familiar face.

"Ah, Fuzzy-Eyebrows!"

"Good morning, Naruto." Rock Lee replied wearily. The blond noticed how the other's shoulders slumped forward and how he hung his head. Lee was usually up and jumping at this hour (in fact, at all hours of the day) but right now he looked out of energy, as if someone sucked it out of him with a vacuum and then stomped on him so he'd look even more miserable. Even his green suit looked blanched and limp.

"Um, are you okay?" Naruto asked tentatively.

He got a sniffle out of boy in response.

"Let me guess. Sakura?"

Lee nodded dejectedly, his eyes transfixed on the floor.

Naruto slapped the bowl-cut boy hard on his back in reassurance, causing him to stumble forwards a bit and nearly trip. "Worry not, Fuzzy-Eyebrows! Sakura is very serious about her relationship with you. In fact, I just saw her and we talked…" Lee's eyes snapped to look at Naruto and widened, a glimmer of hope flittering in them, "really, you have nothing to worry about!" The blond pulled on his 'Good-Guy' pose and raised a thumb up.

Lee looked at the shorter boy expectantly. "R-Really? Are you sure?"

"Yeah!"

"OH, NARUTO! I AM THANKFUL FOR YOUR YOUTHFUL SPIRIT!" He threw his arms spasmodically around a very startled Naruto.

Naruto tried to tap on his attacker's back but found his arms pressed to his body in a death grip. Soon enough he was struggling for breath. A corresponding idea for a headline popped into his mind. _"Columnist dies from oxygen deprivation by a deadly HUG!"_

"A-Air…AIR!" Naruto choked out while mentally shouting, _Let go, let go! Suffocating!_

The green clad boy let go of the breathless boy and pulled back. His huge eyes were shinier than usual and a wide smile with blindingly bright two rows of teeth broke on his face. "You must have used your revolutionary love tactics on her! Now our ever-sweet love shall blossom once more!"

Naruto, still panting for air, nearly sweat-dropped when Lee raised a fist to the air with new-found confidence. It seemed that Sakura told her boyfriend that he was the love advice specialist. Or maybe Lee just figured that he has good 'love tactics'?

The recovered blond clasped the other's hands between his and batted his eyelashes animatedly. "To ever-sweet love!"

After thanking Naruto again, the green energy ball ran out of the gym and Naruto imagined rose-pink hearts rushing after him like a cloud of dust. The blond felt a smile of satisfaction tugging at his lips, figuring that the other boy was probably going to ask Sakura out on a date.

* * *

Exercise was undoubtedly Naruto's favorite past time. What was a better way to vent off frustrations other than repeatedly sock it to a punching bag? 

Naruto liked the way working out allowed him to push his limits. He was no masochist, but feeling the soreness of his contracting muscles as he flexed gave him a sense of pleasure. It was as if he confirmed to himself that if he tried hard enough, despite the pain, he could achieve anything.

A few years back with a belly a bit robust and round cheeks he was nothing short of a chubby preadolescent. His goal was to prove himself worthy (to be able to finally overpower Sasuke in one of their little fights and to win Sakura's attention) and with countless hours spent at the gym he managed to tone-up pretty well. The gym also helped him keep in shape for his job.

Once he stretched, he climbed onto one of his favorite machines, the Eliptical Cross Trainer. He put on his in-ear headphones and connected the plug to the radio system. With rhythmic music pounding in his ears, he grasped the arm levers and stepped on the pedal platforms, pedaling forward while alternating the arm levers back and forth.

Obsidian eyes observed the boy dressed in the orange baggy muscle pants and the black tank top from afar. Sasuke watched the blond breathing heavily, sweat already glistening on his muscled arms and forehead and his eyelids closing shut calmly as if he was merely taking a stroll on the beach. Naruto was completely oblivious to the figure who was staring at him from the other end of the large room, hiding behind the rows of treadmills.

Even though said individual stood at a fair distance from the unaware blond, a light blush still covered his pale face. He felt like a schoolgirl checking out her secret crush when he wasn't looking.

He also couldn't believe that he resorted to _stalking_ Naruto. The lowest of lows. It was not even as though he carried a camera with him and took photographs of the boy in the shower or followed him home. It wasn't like that. He just _occasionally_ looked after him. Yes, looked after him. That sounded better.

Still, he couldn't impede the voice in his mind which kept shouting smugly, _Stalker! Stalker! _Truthfully, it wasn't the first time that he tailed after the attractive blond without him noticing – after getting over the denial stage he found it easier to think of the blond as attractive, after all, he wasn't blind – but trailing after him was the only way to ensure that the blue-eyed boy wouldn't be taken away by someone and thus completely foil Sasuke's plans.

Not to mention that he simply liked watching Naruto. Not that he would ever admit it aloud. He still couldn't believe that he's actually going to go through with what he came here for.

Naruto suddenly opened his eyes, startled. He jumped off of the Eliptical to the floor, landing shakily on his feet but forgetting about the headphones still thrust in his ears. The blond 'eep'ed and flailed his arms, his head skewed to the machine, until he took off his headphones embarrassedly. A round of a few friendly chuckles erupted at the incident from the other occupants of the gym who happened to be near the boy, and Naruto suddenly smiled big, enjoying the attention.

Smiling still, Naruto reached for his front pocket and pulled out a small, vibrating mobile phone. He pressed it to his ear and greeted loudly, "Yo, sex-on-legs talkin'."

The boy at the far corner risked getting out of his hideout and inching closer to the blond in order to listen to his side of the phone talk. Luckily for him, Naruto's backside was turned to him.

"Hey! I resent that!" Naruto exclaimed into his cell phone. "I'll have you know that some people who can appreciate true art will say that my body is a master piece." There was a pause and coal-black eyes were drawn to the blond's movements, his sun-kissed tanned hand which rose to wipe sweat off his brow and the way that it then went through his golden locks.

_It's more than a master piece, Naruto. It is god-status worthy. _Sasuke felt his face heating up at the unvoiced acknowledgment and shook his head as if it would undo what he just thought.

He felt goose bumps run from his wrists up to his forearms when Naruto laughed heartily. He frowned deeply while roughly rubbing his arms to make it vanish. He hated how his body reacted to the other boy. Emotions he could control when he wished, but his body was another story.

Long pause. Then…

"WHAT! NOW?" The blond yelled into his mobile and abruptly turned to the Eliptical to grab his belongings (towel, bottle, headphones), his features showing distress. "Sakura, you know I can't be late to Orochimaru's class!" Naruto started pacing towards the exit, shuffling closer to Sasuke's current hiding place near the door to the locker room. "Kiba too? He must've been in the weight room them, 'cause I didn't see him…" Naruto kept on talking.

When the black-haired teen realized that if he stayed put he will surely be discovered he felt a wave of panic wash over him. With adrenaline pumping through his veins, he scampered hurriedly through the door, cursing under his breath that it had to be the most ungraceful, un-Uchiha-like sprint he had ever carried out.

Naruto entered the locker room and went straight to his locker. After inserting his combination and unlocking the metallic door, he clumsily pushed in his bright orange towel and stopped when he heard a soft crinkling sound of paper being creased. With eyebrows furrowed, he slowly reached out his hand under his towel and drew out an envelope.

Naruto blinked his big blue eyes curiously and opened the elegant silver embossed stationery seal on the cream-colored envelope to reveal its contents.

_Dearest Naruto,_

_Love can be expressed in a myriad of different methods. I tried expressing it in written sentences but I had to constantly search for the words, for they all seemed less than I truly feel. I wanted to display it to you, yet even a profusion of roses, lilacs and daffodils would not be enough to show you that you're my world, in brilliant colors (and that I'm sure you wouldn't have liked to receive flowers from another male). _

_I just cannot explain the passion inside which burns for you. Should a thousand deaths tear out my heart, it would still beat for you a million times and call out your name._

_I treasure you, for you are where my happiness begins. I am forever lost when you are not near by. I pray for the day when I could greedily kiss your lips and you will take my heartache away. _

_For now I am blue without you,  
__Caeruleus _

To say that Naruto was flabbergasted was an understatement. He couldn't believe it. Someone wrote a love letter…to him?

Naruto instinctively looked to his left and to his right to see if the person who left the letter might still be in the room, hiding just out of the field of his vision, ever though he knew that it wasn't the case. When he found nothing, his eyes peered yet again at the note in his hands.

Wow. Someone actually liked him. Loved him even! If this wasn't a joke – and it didn't seem to Naruto like one – it meant that there was a girl out there who—

Wait a minute.

_"…to receive flowers from another male."_

Hold on.

_"…another male."_

The sentence echoed loudly in his mind a dozen times more, taunting him. An untamed sort of anxiety overwhelmed him, similar to the somewhat panicked realization when you were on a plane half way across the world and suddenly remembered that you left the fire on the kitchen stove burning.

Realization sank in.

_Oh shit on platters! What the hell?_! Naruto mentally spluttered.

Sasuke was thankful for the way the locker room was structured. There were four rows of tall lockers, all vertical to one another, creating the shape of a square with no vertexes, with two long benches in its middle.

He was hiding behind one of the high sort of barriers which was vertical to Naruto's locker, so when he peeked around its corner he could only see the blond's side. It was enough for him to be able to read the emotions flashing in Naruto's sapphire blue eyes. Curiosity, confusion, surprise, delight and then the inevitable horror.

Sasuke couldn't watch anymore. The back of his head hit the tinny locker he was using as support softly so that the other boy in the room wouldn't hear.

That's it. He did it and he _regretted_ it. He regretted it the moment the letter slipped through his fingers into the small airing opening on the little grey door.

_Shit. Just fucking brilliant. What if he realizes it was me? _Sasuke asked himself, remorse already flooding through his system and his stomach churning unpleasantly. He knew he shouldn't have gone through with it.

Sasuke heard the sound of footsteps going fainter and held his breath until they disappeared completely. When they did he let out a breath and allowed himself to sink to the floor with his back still pressed to the cold metal and cursed.

He tried to concentrate on the well-oiled hinges on the door in front of him that led to the showers so that the strong palpitating of his heart would go unnoticed.

_Shit._

* * *

**Author Notes:** How the hell do I manage to write 3000+ words per chapter? I want it to be less! Grr...Boring chapter. Blah. Not really as funny as I was hoping for but I'll try to make up for it in the next chapter. Edited first chapter when I realized that I wanted Sasuke's feelings in the story too. Hope it's okay. The love letter has to be the hardest thing I had to write…Tell me if it came out tolerable, alright? It worries me. Please review! 

Lots of thanks to Jenanien, cynlee, Trinica, chichi, Azamiko, btTara, Strawberry Blood, Smoking Panda and Alana-StarSugarCat! I love you all! Hugs and cookies to all of you! Have some magical bananas too!


	3. Right

**Warnings: **Err. The 'F' word pops up a couple of times. OOC, grammar mistakes…The usual.  
**A/N:** Ack, sorry for not updating for a while! I've had a writer's block for a few days and then I just got too lazy to write. On a different note, I NEED **HELP!** I read the previous chapters and I felt like I might've missed a few details or didn't make it interesting enough (which I probably did). I need a **beta-reader**. Basically just someone who could let me know if I need to add some details, alert me if I have any mistakes and help me fix 'em and pitch in some ideas too if they have any. Please? Anyone?  
By the way, sorry for not being able to thank everyone who reviewed personally for the last two chapters. Thanks a bunch! Really!

---

_**Chapter 3 – Right**_

Naruto walked into the _Konoha's Weekly_ staff room in a sort of fuzzy haze. He didn't quite remember how he got there. All he could think about was the letter neatly folded and peacefully resting inside his pocket.

"—ruto? Naruto, man, you okay?"

"Eh?" Was Naruto's intelligent reply. He snapped out of his revive and met with the worried faces of his friends Inuzuka Kiba, Sakura and Ino.

"You looked kinda dazed back there," Kiba said, one eyebrow raised.

"Ah, was just thinking."

The brunette cracked a toothy grin. "Don't think so hard, you might just hurt yourself."

Naruto punched his friend's (and neighbor) shoulder half-heartedly and mirrored the boy's grin. "Yeah, huh? Damn those blonde genes!"

The four laughed shortly and Naruto felt relieved when the worry faded from their faces. He didn't want to upset his friends before the session. He'll show them the letter later.

"Man, I'm so not up for this shit. I was in the middle of my body-building. Do you know how dangerous it is when you're lifting a weight over your head when something vibrates in your pants? I almost cut off my head! Fuck, she just had to call us all for a meeting, didn't she? She doesn't deserve to be editor," Kiba babbled defiantly and finished with a calculating look on his face. "Am I right or am I right?"

"You're right," Naruto and the girls chorused dully in unison.

"Hell yeah!" Kiba exclaimed and his audience of three watched behind him as the door to the editor's room creaked open. "With all those stupid rules I'm surprised that no one complained to the Dean! I really hate tha— why are you guys staring at me like that?"

The room suddenly went silent and the brunette's friends' eyes were wide and darting from him to some point behind him and back to him again.

"She's right behind me, right?"

"Right."

"…_Right._" Kiba let heaved out a giant sigh and turned around only to face the full blast of The Editor's glare.

"Any more complaints, _mutt-face_?" Temari, namely The Editor, snapped.

"None, _sir_," the brunette muttered in a reply, emphasizing the last word.

"Good. You're in no position to nit-pick, Inuzuka, when you are but a mere photographer and not even an official part of the staff."

A string of colorful curses were spewed silently from the scowling brunette and Naruto stifled a chuckle.

"Now," Temari said loudly to catch everyone's attention, "it was brought to my attention that some of you are not too happy with my, and I quote," both of her hands shot up and her middle and index fingers curled forward in the quotation marks gesture, "_Nazi_ _rule_."

Her narrowed eyes scanned the room and stopped briefly on Kiba, sending him a dark death glare. She sent another glare in Akimichi Chouji's, the in-campus news journalist, direction.

A sullen look passed Chouji's face and then he spoke up. "You won't allow food in here even though it's technically fine with the Uni's staff!"

"Food inside this room disrupts the concentration. Not all of us need to constantly consume fat."

"Are you implying that I'm fat? 'Cause I'm not. I'm just chubby!" The plump boy retorted heatedly.

"Yeah! Hooray for chubby!" Naruto crudely chimed in.

"You also act superior to all of us. I don't like it," a red-haired boy cut in coldly, his arms crossed and annoyance reflected in his light green eyes.

Temari stared at her brother in alarm.

Naruto's eyes locked on Gaara. Suspicions arose in his heart like high tide in a raging sea. He didn't know Gaara personally but that only intensified his fears. What if Gaara was distant and refined yet harbored cryptic feelings for the blond boy deep inside? Oh no! What if he stalked Naruto? He did seem to be the type…

Naruto recalled his first encounter with the redhead. He walked into this exact room; his trademark foxy grin was placed safely on his face and he started greeting the personnel.

He thrust his hand forward towards a gothic-looking boy when he got to him.

_"Hey! I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I'm new here."_

_"Sabaku Gaara," the boy offered but didn't shake Naruto's outstretched hand. _

_The tan hand then grabbed Gaara's pale one and shook it firmly. _

_"What are you doing?" Gaara demanded stoically._

_"I'm just being friendly!"_

_"I don't need any friends." _

_The blond grinned and joked, "So I suppose that pledging eternal companionship is out of the question?"_

_The redhead gave Naruto a poisonous look that promptly shut him up._

Yeah…They didn't talk much after that besides a few work-related issues. Now that Naruto thought about it, it couldn't possibly be Gaara. The guy walked around with 'asexual' stamped to his forehead. That's what he thought, at least.

And that letter was too girly. Definitely not Gaara's style.

Then who the hell could it be?

------

"Man, did you hear that? Temari resigns when the semester ends! That's like in a month! There is a God up there after all and He has heard my prayers…" Kiba held prayerful hands to his cheek and heaved a dreamy sigh. "This has made my day. Now that the meeting's over, I'm going back to the gym. So long my friends," and with a two-fingers salute and a grin, Kiba left.

A knot the size of a basketball formed in Naruto's stomach. It can't be Kiba, right? After all, he was in the gym at the same time that Naruto was. When Naruto got to his locker to grab his stuff for work-out there was no letter inside. It had to be done while he was still in the gym. Kiba knows which locker is his…he could've easily slipped a letter inside.

Naruto shook his head and reminded himself fervently that _no, no_, Kiba was his best bud and would never do this to Naruto, even if this actually was a big joke. Even if the letter is real, Kiba had a huge crush on their mutual friend Hinata. So, no, there's no way it was Kiba.

"Hey, what's up?" Sakura suddenly turned to Naruto, concerned.

"Huh?"

"You're quieter than usual. Spill the beans!"

Naruto gulped at Sakura's determined features and the now curious Ino, who butted in to listen, too.

Reluctantly, he reached into his pocket, fished out the accursed love letter and handed it to the pink-haired girl.

Her jade eyes skimmed over the words carefully, one eyebrow cocked up dubiously.

At some point both of her eyebrows went up half way into her forehead. Naruto winced as he guessed that she must've gotten to the part where mister anonymous declared subtly that he was, in fact, male.

Sakura showed Ino the letter and Naruto wanted to smack his forehead. _Oh great. Now the whole campus is going to know about this thing. How is it that I just so happened to make friends with the only two girls in the University who gossip for a living?_

Naruto was ripped out of his reflections when Ino and Sakura squealed. He watched, startled, as Sakura bounced excitedly on the balls of her feet.

"Naruto has a _Secret_ _Admirer_!" The girls cooed in a sing-song voice.

The blond had the decency to blush. "Will you keep it down?" He asked in spite of knowing that everyone will hear about it anyway. "It's probably just a joke anyway. No one writes anything this kitschy. The guy didn't even give his name, just some Latin crap or something."

Sakura suddenly seemed to be calculating something in her mind. "Latin?" She glanced at the paper again. "_Caeruleus. _Interesting."

Ino caught on to Sakura's line of thought. "Say Naruto, didn't you advice someone on yesterday's newspaper to write a letter?"

"Yeah, some Blue guy. Or girl. Didn't say."

"_I'm blue without you_…" Sakura quoted what was written at the end of the letter.

"But…that Blue talked about someone who hates him. I don't hate anyone!" As an after thought he added, "and what the hell is _Caeruleus_?"

Sakura ignored him. "Can I keep this?" She motioned to the letter in her hand.

"No!" Naruto cried and snatched it from her. "It's mine! My own."

"…Okay, Frodo." Sakura rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I have to pay someone a visit..."

-----

"Well, well. Who would've guessed that the great Uchiha Sasuke could write something so undeniably mushy?"

The boy in question glared daggers at the annoying girl in front of him. "He showed it to you?"

"He sure did! Wow, Sasuke. That was the most girlish love letter ever. How did you manage that?"

Sasuke scowled. "I'm a writer. I can write whatever the hell I please. I didn't want him to know it was me. I had to write it this way."

"Right. I wonder what will happen when he figures out it was you, though. I wonder what he'll think when he finds out that you've been in love with him since high school!"

"_How_ do you know_ that_?"

"I have my ways and I've suspected it for a while. Hold on, did you really admit just now that you're in love with Naruto? I knew that there's a heart in there after all!"

"Shut up, Sakura." He snarled.

"Aw, c'mon Sasuke. This is your chance to court him!" Sakura said happily.

"Naruto isn't gay."

"He might be!" She argued. "Even if he isn't, I'm going to help you make sure he turns into one." Sakura declared gallantly.

"Right. Good luck." Sasuke picked up his things and got up, all ready to leave the empty classroom he hid in until the Sakura showed up. He couldn't believe that she figured out it was him. The girl was smart. But she was the biggest gossip around. If anyone heard about this, he'd have to explain the bodies, because he was definitely going to kill.

Walking away, he craned his neck around to the pink-haired girl. "Sakura, are you walking properly?"

The girl nodded, puzzled at the question. "Uh. Yes, why?"

The raven-haired boy smirked. "Because if anyone hears about this, you won't be."

Sakura slowly smirked in return. "Threatening a girl, Sasuke-kun?"

The aloof black-haired boy left without replying.

------

"Naruto!"

A mop of uncanny golden locks covered head whipped around. "Ah, hey Neji. Listen, I gotta run, can't afford to be late to Orochimaru's class. Meet ya there?" The blond already started pacing swiftly to his Journalism course, obviously in a hurry to get there in time.

A wave of anger bubbled in Neji's stomach and he quickly caught up with the blond. "No," he growled, not really caring if his friend heard him emitting the out-of-character sound. He put his hand on Naruto's shoulder and clenched his fist so the fabric of the blond's shirt caught between his fingers.

Before Naruto could respond, the pale boy pushed him to an empty corridor and pressed him to one of the walls.

"What the hell? Fuck, I said I can't afford to be la—"

"What was this nonsense I heard about a love letter?" Neji asked with something akin to menace blended in his usually calm voice.

Naruto blinked. What--what was up with Neji?

"Answer me!" Neji yelled and placed both hands on Naruto's shoulders, backing him up further to the plaster wall.

"I—ow, Neji—I got a love letter from someone, okay? Let go," Naruto pleaded. The look on the other boy's usually composed face frightened him. He seemed almost desperate. Worried. Infuriated.

Neji's hands were holding him so tightly that he couldn't escape.

"Who was it from?" Neji's head leaned in forward slightly to Naruto, as if to hear the answer better. Or maybe he did it to intimidate him.

"They didn't say. Man, you're kinda scaring me. W-why do you care?" Naruto whispered, mostly due to the fact that he was very aware of Neji's face looming just inches above his own.

Neji eased up his grip a little, just enough to let the blond boy go. However, Naruto seemed to be rooted to his place.

A predatory smirk graced the brunette's thin lips and he bent even closer to the boy before him, who was looking up at him with big blue, fearful eyes.

Naruto never again had to wonder why sheep don't run away when a wolf is standing right in front of them, salt in one hand and pepper in the other.

"You're mine," the breathy words came out, puffing hotly against the shell of his ear.

Neji backed off and looked at Naruto apathetically, facial features appearing to have gone back to normal. Normal for Neji, anyway.

He locked his seemingly pupil-less eyes with Naruto's radiant azure ones. "You should hurry. Don't want to be late for class," he said smugly and lowered his hands from Naruto's shoulders, deliberately making them slide off down the shorter boy's chest until they returned to Neji's sides.

When he got no reaction from the blond who was still staring at him in immense confusion and fear, he pushed down the smirk of satisfaction that threatened to surface and whisked away.

Naruto watched him go and felt his heart drop to his stomach and jump back up.

Did…Did he just say "You're mine" and then brushed it off as if nothing happened? And what did he mean, Naruto's his?.!

Oh god. Oh no. No no no no no. No way. Nuh uh.

What if Neji wrote the letter and now he was playing with him? Coming to 'seize his prey'? Naruto totally noticed Neji feeling him up. Or feeling him down, more accurately.

…Oh _crap_.

What if he didn't write it and now Naruto had to deal with two guys who want him?.!

What did he do to deserve this? He wasn't even gay!

_Why me?_ _Why?_

If he strained his ears hard enough he could definitely hear Lady Fate laughing her ass off at him.

----

**A/N: **Sorry for OOC…Neji seemed really…daring? And Sakura was a bit different too. I guess that's how I see her when she's over Sasuke and a bit older. More powerful and a bit teasing. So yeah, I'm going on a one-sided NejiNaru here. But worry not. It IS going to be SasuNaru. SasuNaru all the way, baby! When I got to the part with Gaara I actually considered for a moment to have some GaaraNaru too but…Eh. I don't know. Then it sounds too much like other AU stories that I read that had Neji, Gaara and Sasuke after Naruto. Well, up to you guys. Hope you enjoyed, please leave a review on your way out!


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